3rd Party Opinion in 140 Characters or Less

Want a daily dose of 3rd Party Opinion? Check out my Twitter page (it’s public so you do not need a Twitter account): http://twitter.com/brianpdawson

You may also find the following lists useful:

http://twitter.com/brianpdawson/wellinformedcitizen - A compilation of up-to-the-minute Tweets from forty news sources that I personally follow for information on politics, international affairs, security policy, business, the environment, and human rights.

http://twitter.com/brianpdawson/intheknowsf - Five minutes a day will keep you current on San Francisco. Covering local government, events, food and wine, nightlife, art, film, real estate and philanthropic causes.

Euro-PSAs: A Not-So-Happy Place

Something occurred to me as I was perusing AdFreak’s 30 Freakiest Commercials of 2009 –foreign countries produce far more effective Public Service Announcements than we do here in the U.S. Ours always seem to be heavy-handed or hackneyed, thus ineffective.

Even the most memorable American PSAs did not have an effect on me, well at least not the intended effect. The late-eighties “This is your brain on drugs” spot simply made me hungry. And then after multiple viewings, the engrained imagery actually encouraged the taking of drugs as I thought they would help inspire me to whip up a fancier egg dish. My brain often looked like a lopsided frittata. Yum.

The four Euro-ads that I’ve posted below are actually beyond effective. In fact, they are so disturbing that there are spill-over effects and unintended consequences:

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This one did indeed make me afraid for abused children, but it also made me afraid of dolls, backyard playhouses, and Finnish people in general.


Starts out with a buxom Dutch stripper and ends with a grisly knife-wielding fisherman. Note to self: no more lap dances at Neptune Nell’s down by the wharf.


Who will be crowned princess of the schoolyard?


Polar bears are so cute and cuddly. Not so much when their mangled carcasses are falling from the sky.

Santa: From Halfway House to Your Local Mall

Christmas is almost upon us, as are these Sketchy Santas …

We're All Tree-Huggers Now

I love living in San Francisco. I really do. And I don’t lose sleep over the fact that across the nation a great many of our fellow citizens view us as smug idealists, sexual deviants, and nature worshiping pagans. Most of the time I simply laugh it off. Most of the time. But every now and again I have an act of such utter foolishness thrust upon me by one of my own ilk—a San Franciscan—that even I, your ever-tolerant narrator, inadvertently cringes in disgust.

Such is the case when I encounter the middle-aged gray-ponytail-sporting kook in the Whole Foods parking lot who hands out home-printed “consumption citations” to drivers of other-than-hybrid vehicles while wearing a t-shirt that reads “My car gets 45 mpg. Does yours?” I’ve often fantasized about stuffing my green canvas reusable grocery sack with organic coconuts and delivering a Code Red to this self-righteous clown in a secluded corner of the garage. So if you ever pull into a dimly lit Whole Foods parking spot that reeks of patchouli, Fair Trade coffee, coconut milk, and death, you’ll know what happened.

The only thing more annoying than sanctimonious policy springing from a parking lot, is sanctimonious policy spewing from the podium. Enter Gavin Newsom. Our mayor’s Trees for Tomorrow program has planted 26,408 trees over the past five years. The city’s Department of Public Works planted 8,420 of said trees at a cost of $7.76 million to reach his Honor’s lofty and publically stated numerical goal. To simply maintain the program, the DPW must spend $1.1 million per year for the next three years along with $570,000 a year to an outside watering contractor.

Now I like trees as much as the next guy. Love to see more in my neighborhood, and elsewhere. Certainly would. Spend money planting trees. Sounds reasonable. Here’s the rub: on Friday a third of DPW’s tree maintenance crews were fired due to budgetary issues. That’s seventeen people no longer gainfully employed this week. I’m not an accountant or anything, but my guess is that somewhere in all that green is enough to pay seventeen salaries? But hey, at least all these newly unemployed folks will have plenty of shady spots where they can sit and think about how to rebuild their lives.

Too bad for his Honor that trees don’t vote.

Five Utterly Ridiculous Consumer Products

The Back Up – so you can kill somebody while remaining prone and semiconscious...


The Tiddy Bear – everybody wants a happy little guy sliding between their breasts...


The Privacy Scarf – totally inconspicuous way to watch porn in public...

The SpeedFit – cause regular old running is just too damn simple...


Comfort Wipe – “toilet paper is really archaic…”

Horribly Inappropriate Halloween Costumes

Images from Huffington Post

Halloween is right around the corner. Better stockpile candy, and dignity, now cause you won’t be amassing any in these:

Children’s pimp costume – “When I grow up I want to be Bishop Don Magic Juan.”

Elton Jon Benet – “Mmm…can we have some sweet treats?”

Even sans sheep, this dude is clearly creepy – “Hi, I’m your new neighbor and I love to babysit. You’re not familiar with Megan’s Law, are you?”

Child suicide bomber – “Halloween? No, only heathens celebrate that. This is my costume for a skit at after-school bible camp about the sand people who want to destroy Jesus.”

The shocker, a douche bag favorite – “I always reach for my candy through the backdoor.”

Euro Mobile Guy – “You want make dial operator, pretty American lady?”

Kid Tranny Diva – “My parents aren’t sure what pronouns to use to describe me.”

Happy, Healthy Obamas Out of Touch with Miserable Americans

Video from The Onion -


Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans