Fume le Cigare

“My question is whether a President Obama and a Secretary of State Clinton, given all that has gone down between them and their staffs, can have that kind of relationship, particularly with Mrs. Clinton always thinking four to eight years ahead, and the possibility that she may run again for the presidency. I just don’t know.”
-Thomas Friedman, in Madam Secretary?

I can’t quite get behind the appointment of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. I’m trying but I’m definitely not there yet. She doesn’t strike me as a team player, someone who will always have Barack’s back. I can already hear the passive-aggressive praise being dished out to foreign heads of state: “Yeah he sure can hoop it up, just don’t put a bowling ball in his hands;” “Americans do love him, especially the annoying ones with PhDs;” and “Of course he’s cool, he’s a black guy.” The real deal-breaker is that Hillary is reminiscent of the weaselly smart kid in class who, instead of simply refusing to let you copy his test, goes out of his way to pass you the answers. Except they are the wrong answers, handed over in a deliberate attempt to paint you as a moron…and if Martin Fitzenberger from Mrs. Kozak’s 5th grade class is reading this, you still have a beating coming.

Other than the Fitzenbergers of the world, the person who will reap the maximum benefit from this appointment is good ole Bill Clinton. I bet he’s already thinking about the official State visit to France…

While President Sarkozy and Secretary Clinton are busy discussing the state of Franco-American diplomacy, their respective partners, Carla Bruni and Slick Willy, will be ushered off to the spousal lounge. Can you imagine Bill Clinton alone with the First Lady of France in a room filled with aperitifs, cordials, and overstuffed horizontal furniture? You don’t need a black light to see this international incident coming. One can only hope that some Élysée Palace maid won’t have stocked the lounge with cigars.