A Well-Styled Bailout

“There’s a delicious irony in seeing private luxury jets flying into Washington, D.C., and people coming off of them with tin cups in their hands. It’s almost like seeing a guy show up at the soup kitchen in high-hat and tuxedo. . . .I mean, couldn’t you all have downgraded to first class or jet-pooled or something to get here?”
-Rep. Gary L. Ackerman (D-N.Y.), to the chief executives of the Big Three automakers arriving to beg for cash from the public.

I must admit, I’m torn over this auto bailout. I’m not torn over what to do to the CEOs of Chrysler, GM, and Ford. They should be publically drawn and quartered, but by American cars in lieu of horses. It would give them a sporting chance, and thus, make it more fun to watch.




On Tuesday, I read Mitt Romney’s New York Times Op-Ed, Let Detroit Go Bankrupt. I found myself nodding my head, thinking that he really made some valid points. And indeed he did. But every time I find myself agreeing with Mitt Romney, I secretly wonder if it’s his hair? I’m convinced that if I stared at his immaculately well-coiffed dome long enough, I’d stop drinking, put on a nametag, and start going door-to-door singing the praises of Jesus and that Smith guy. I might even have sex to procreate. The horror.

Then I remembered the Mitt Romney we all met circa January 2008. The Republican Presidential Candidate who told his native Michigan: “Look at Washington. What have they done to help the domestic auto industry? Look, you can't keep on throwing anvils at Michigan and the auto industry and then say, ‘How come they are not swimming well?’” and, “I hear people say, ‘It’s gone, those jobs are gone, transportation’s gone, it’s not coming back.’ I'm going to fight for every single job. I'm going to rebuild the industry. I'm going to take burdens off the back of the auto industry.”

It’s hard to remember everything Romney said during the Primary (again, the hair gets in my way), but I don’t recall him mentioning anything to the autoworkers about a massive catastrophically spiraling bankruptcy. Of course, handsome Mitt is no stranger to contradicting perspectives. Although he professes to believe that the consumption of alcohol is morally repugnant, he keeps a fully stocked bar in his house for entertaining. Go figure.

Ultimately, concerning the auto bailout, I think I’m steering towards the perspective of economist Jeffery Sachs. I won’t bother to re-articulate the argument he made this week in The Washington Post; you can read it here: A Bridge for the Carmakers. The opening of his last paragraph sums it up: “We face an unprecedented financial calamity, energy crisis and environmental threat. A vibrant, growing U.S. automobile industry should play an essential role in solving all three.”