King Barack of Nigeria

“David has become sort of like a boyfriend I broke up with who keeps trying to be friends. He keeps writing. And writing.”
-Mimi Swartz, in Yes, We Spam!, referring to the repeated post-election email solicitations from David Plouffe, Barack Obama’s campaign manager

I gotta say, though I’m a big fan of the President-elect and his crew, the constant stream of fundraising spam is becoming annoying. Worse, the pitches are really getting ridiculous. I received this one today:

My dear Friend,

This is to bring you notice that I, David Plouffe, Chief Barrister Attorney to an ex-King of Nigeria, have the honor with upmost good faith do appeal to you to sincerely to render me an assistance by way of supporting me to bring over to your country the sum of United States Dollars, Six Million two hundred thousand United States Dollars (US$6.2M).

I am representing with trusted belief and goodwill, the former deposed King of Nigeria, Barack Hussein Obama. As loyal steadfast to King Barack Hussein Obama, I, David Plouffe, Esquire, ask you as a person with familiar the particulars of business to take possession of said moneys before transfer return to King Barack Hussein Obama in exile in The city of District of Columbia, United States.

The volume of money is presently available in cash and deposited with Global Security Company. South Africa with deposit Certificate Number CXB90. This was part of the money that Nigerian Ex-Head of State, Barack Hussein Obama, concealed in the private personal warehouse before set up by military junta due to involvement in pro-Democracy activities as he wants civil rule in Nigeria as is a popular demand of the citizens.

Finally, I have discussed with King Barack Hussein Obama and have decided to offer you 20% of the sum for your noblest assistance because the money would be released to you in my presence on arrival to the country we choose. Also you will receive in good health a precious souvenir (picture beneath):
So let me have your immediate response towards actualization of this objective through Tel/Fax 234-1-7654321.

Fondest and Excellent Regards,
David Plouffe, in representation of His Majesty King Barack Hussein Obama